Guaranteed Dmoz listing for 1 website

I am looking for someone who can GUARANTEE submission to Dmoz for one of my web sites: I need them to be listed in Dmoz.org. I'm looking for a fast guaranteed submission by an editor. Payment upon success. This project will be handled with escrow fund and the money will be released after verifying the listing on DMOZ directory under listed category. I will provide description and title for the site, but if you prefer to change them to make guaranteed listing in DMOZ, you can do so. The payment is guaranteed as soon as the listing is present at the right category on DMOZ. Please DO NOT submit your bid if you cannot guarantee the listings to be published.