$8-$12 per hour - 1 or 2 or 3 Full-Time Lisp Developers (Lisp? Really? Yes. Lisp.) Posted 24 August 2008

~~~ To Apply for this Job ~~~ 1. Attach a sample of your source code to a GetAFreelancer Private Message. 2. Bid 1600 US dollars to 2400 US dollars for 200 hours per month of work. ~~~ Rate and Hours ~~~ We will pay each developer $1600- $2400 for 200 hours per month. That is 8 US dollars to 12 US dollars per hour. Please do not bid for this project if you require a higher rate. ~~~ Paid in Advance (Huh? Really?) ~~~ Except for the initial 10 hour probationary period (see below) we will pay you in advance for hours your work. What? Is that a joke? Nope. Typically we start out paying folks for just a few hours and then gradually increase the number of hours. It's no joke. Check our feedback on GetAFreelancer. We normally pay folks for 4 to 8 hours in advance. Why? Because it works. It makes folks we work with very comfortable and actually is much less hassle for us in the long run. ~~~ Work whichever hours of the day you prefer ~~~ We will permit you to work any hours of the day you prefer. In other words, we do not care which hours of the day you work. ~~~ What a long advertisement! ~~~ We've received lots of questions and had a lot of problems. We add the answers to the questions and problems to this advertisement. We believe strongly that, "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure." ~~~ Your Sample Source Code ~~~ Please provide us with some sample source code you have created in the past in Lisp or Ruby or Python or Perl or C++ or Java or some other language. However, please do not submit source code you have created in PHP. The software architect normally uses Linux and Macintosh but not Windows. Please make it easy for the software architect to review your code. Therefore, please do not package your files in Visual Studio or any other framework. Your files must be available individually and not packaged (except as, say, a .zip or .rar file). We have had trouble in the past with tests that candidates have submitted C++ which they created with Visual Studio. Perhaps you created the code 2 weeks ago, 2 months ago, or even 2 years. If you are worried that by submitting the sample source code to us that you may be violating something like a client confidentiality agreement or non-disclosure agreement for source code you created as a "Work for Hire" then you may submit merely a snippet of the source code, not the entire source code. We are not looking to steal anyone else's software. Not at all. We merely want to review a sample of code you have created in the past so we can properly judge the quality of your code. Please don't copy and paste your sample code into a GetAFreelancer Personal Message (PM) because the indenting will be lost. Instead please attach your sample code into a GetAFreelancer Personal Message (PM) so that the indenting will be maintained. ~~~ NDA (non-disclosure agreement) ~~~ Before you begin working with us you must sign, scan, and attach to a GetAFreelancer Private Message, a copy of our NDA (non-disclosure agreement). Of course we would provide you copy of our NDA for you to review if we are interested in working with you. ~~~ $30 Test Project for you on GetAFreelancer ~~~ If the salary you request for working 200 hours per month is low enough, and if the sample source code we receive from you is good enough, and if we have received a signed and scanned copy of our NDA (non-disclosure agreement), then we will create a small $30 test project just for you on GetAFreelancer. ~~~ About You ~~~ We are currently looking for 1 or 2 or 3 very clever, full-time software application developers (not mere coders) to work with us 200 hours per month for at least a year but hopefully longer. ~~~ Steel Bank Common Lisp (SBCL) ~~~ You must develop software for us using Steel Bank Common Lisp (SBCL) [login to view URL] Our development server runs Apache and mod_lisp. ~~~ But I don't have any Lisp experience?!? ~~~ Of course, we assume you have practically no experience developing with Lisp. We know that very, very few developers use Lisp. Therefore, we recommend you review "Practical Common Lisp" [login to view URL] and "Common Lisp HyperSpec" [login to view URL] ~~~ Lisp? Why Lisp? ~~~ Why did we choose Lisp? Isn't Lisp almost, well, almost a dead language? Sort of. We realize that Lisp is hardly used in software development except by a very small group of elite software developers. We chose Lisp for one simple reason: we believe it is the best tool available for building most of the software we need. In other words, we think Lisp is a great language. If you study Lisp we suspect you'll think it's a great language too. ~~~ Are you sure you want to use Lisp? Really? ~~~ Yes. We did not inadvertently or naively choose Lisp. Not at all. We very carefully weighed the pros and cons of various languages and chose to use Lisp. ~~~ If you prefer to use Java or .NET ~~~ If you prefer to use Java or .NET then you definitely should not apply for this job. We do not like those languages at all. We feel strongly that those languages are like diseases. However, we do not mind if you currently develop in one of those languages and, like a refugee from a war zone, are seeking to escape. ~~~ If you prefer to use Perl, Python, and Ruby on Rails ~~~ Even though we like and respect Perl, Python, and Ruby on Rails, if you prefer to use one of these languages then you should not apply for this job either. We know Perl is for the old-timers, Python is what they use at Google, and that all the cool kids these days use Ruby on Rails. We are not trying to be "old school" [login to view URL] or to be like Google or to be cool. No. We are attempting to develop great software. ~~~ Clever and Eager Autodidacts Wanted ~~~ You must be willing to teach yourself Steel Bank Common Lisp. We will *not* pay for you to learn Steel Bank Common Lisp. You must currently have a *reliable* high speed Internet connection (DSL, Cable, T-1, etc). ~~~ Employee Benefits? None. Zero. ~~~ We will provide you with no benefits whatsoever. No medical benefits. No paid holidays. Nothing. But we will pay all fees you will be assessed to receive your money, such as fees charged by GetAFreelancer and ATM machine fees. ~~~ Taxes? ~~~ We will not withhold any taxes from your compensation whatsoever nor will we report your earnings to you local tax authorities. That will be your responsibility alone. ~~~ Scanned copy of your national identification, passport, or similar document ~~~ If you successfully complete the $30 test project described below and if we pay you $30 via GetAFreelancer for the $30 test project described above, then you must e-mail us a scanned copy of your national identification, passport, or similar document. To protect your privacy, you may redact (obfuscate) the document number such as the national identification number or passport number. "Huh? Why do you need that information? Are you trying to steal my identity!" How clever of you to realize that we must be professional identity thieves who plan to use your passport information, such as your full legal name your home address (very valuable information) to empty not merely your bank account but those of your entire extended family! We tried to fool you but failed. Darn. Of course we are joking, but many folks seem to immediately worry about this sort of thing. Take a look at your passport or national identification card. If you cover over the document number, what's left? A photo of you your name, your address, your gender, and your birthday. We want this information because if you work with us then you will be gradually create more and more valuable intellectual property for us. Therefore, we want to be able to verify you identity so that we can sue you in a court of law in the event you steal our intellectual property. Doesn't that make sense? If you are unwilling to provide us with this information or any information we require, please don't apply to work with us. ~~~ 10 Hour Probationary Period ~~~ If we pay you $30 because you have successfully completed the test project we posted for you on GetAFreelancer then we will assign you one 2 hour project which you must complete and submit to us within 24 hours (not including Saturdays and Sundays). Therefore, if we assign a project to you on Friday, you will not need to complete and submit to us until Monday. If we are satisfied with how you have performed then we will assign you a second two hour project which you must complete and submit to us within 24 hours (not including Saturdays and Sundays). If we are again satisfied with how you have performed we will repeat this process three more times until you have completed five such two hour assignments. If we are satisfied with how you have performed then we will pay you for 10 hours and you will advance to the 50 day probationary period. However, if we are *not* satisfied with how you have performed then we will *not* pay you any monies whatsoever for the 10 hours you have worked and we will terminate our relationship with you. In other words, we require that you work 10 hours for us yet risk receiving no compensation whatsoever. Therefore, if you are not willing to risk working 10 hours for free, then you should not apply for this job. ~~~ After the 10 hour probationary period ~~~ After the 10 hour probationary period we will pay you in advance for all hours you work. ~~~ The 50 day probationary period following the 10 hour probationary period ~~~ During the 50 day probationary period following the 10 hour probationary period, we will allow you to work as few as 50 hours each month but may allow you to work up to 200 hours per month. In other words, after the 10 hour probationary period we may allow you to begin working full-time with us. However, we will not require you to begin working full-time during this 50 day period. Why? Because we realize you may currently, for example, have a full-time job which you probably don't like, but at least "pays the bills." ~~~ After the 50 day probationary period you must be available to work 200 hours per month ~~~ However, after this 50 day probationary period, we will require you to work 200 hours each month with us. Therefore, if you currently have a full-time job or other commitments which would interfere with you working 200 hours each month with us, then 50 day probationary period you will almost certainly need to quit your current job and/or abandon your other commitments. In other words, after the 50 day probationary period we are not interested in working with you on a part-time basis. We are only willing to work with you on a part-time basis until you complete the 50 day probationary period so that both you and we may become confident that we should work together on a full-time basis. Please do not apply for this job unless you are willing to work 200 hours each month with us after you complete the 50 day probationary period. In other words, we realize that many software developers reviewing the opportunities on GetAFreelancer are looking for part-time work. After all, this website is called GetAFreelancer not GetAnEmployee. However, if you are looking for a "side job" or some part-time work to supplement your current income and are therefore hoping to work, say, 50 to 100 hours per month, then please do not apply for this job. We are only interested in working with candidates who will be willing to work 200 hours each month with us after they complete the initial 60 day period. ~~~ What about Vacations? ~~~ We do not provide any benefits whatsoever. None. Zero. Nothing. Of course we know you'll take vacations. Immediately below we describe how you would not be paid for vacations you take. ~~~ Hours per Month ~~~ We would allow you to work more 200 hours per month. For example, if you were to work 250 hours in one month, then you'd be paid for 250 hours. Of course, if, say, you were to take a vacation and therefore only worked 50 hours in a particular month, then you'd only be paid for 50 hours for that month. To determine your hourly rate we will simply divide your monthly rate by 200. However, except when you are sick or go on vacation, you must be willing to work 200 hours per month. And no, you may not take 4 or 5 "vacations" per month in order to work, say, 75 hours per month so that you can keep your current full-time job, stay in school, fulfill your military service, etc. You must be willing to work 200 hours per month. If you work more than 200 hours per month we'll pay you more, but if you work less more than 200 hours per month we'll pay you less. We are not a paternalistic organization. We won't "take care of you." We are interested in a simple and straightforward contractual relationship in which we pay you for each hour you work and in which you commit to work 200 hours/month. If you want a job with any sort of typical benefits such as paid vacations, medical care, retirement pensions, etcetera this is not the job for you. We are going to pay you strictly by the hour. If this approach seems too brutal or callous or unforgiving we suggest you get a "regular" job with a "regular" company. ~~~ About Us ~~~ We have many challenging new development projects that we need help with (no maintenance). We are not going to inform you now, nor do we ever plan to inform you much about our company. Really? Yes. It is too risky for us. Risky? Huh? Look, if you work for us you will necessarily gradually accumulate a greater and greater amount of our valuable intellectual property. Right? One way that we will protect ourselves from you potentially profiting by infringing on our intellectual property (such as selling our code which you possess to someone else) is by having you sign an NDA (non-disclosure agreement). Another way we will protect ourselves is to avoid disclosing our identity to you. But that's sooooo weird. Yes. We know. We don't like it either. But we don't see a better alternative. Why don't you imagine what it would be like if our positions were reversed. Let's say you employed software developers all around the globe who gradually accumulated more and more of your valuable intellectual property. How would you prevent them from using it for their profit and simultaneously for your loss? That's a difficult problem to solve. Isn't it? Most companies that develop software protect themselves by hiring local software developers who they know and can easily confront or even sue if those software developers essentially steal their intellectual property. Let's face it, most software developers are neither stupid enough nor brave enough to quit their job and sell their, now former company's intellectual property (software) to, say, a competitor. Why not? Because software developers know that their former mangers and owners of their former company know where they live and would very likely confront them in an angry, if not violent, manner. After all. People are people. But what happens when you work with someone in another country thousands if not tens of thousands of miles (or kilometers) away from you? What if you don't see that person every day? What if you don't speak the native language of the people in that country? The Internet changes things. Yet have you noticed how few companies actually work with individual software developers in other countries? Sure a big Western company may work with a company in Russia, the Ukraine, or India. But that Russian, Ukrainian, or Indian company typically requires the software developers to work primarily on-site at their employer's office. Don't they? In other words, software developers primarily work on-site at their employer's office. Sure. There are exceptions. But they are rare. Have you ever stopped to wonder whatever happened to the "telecommuting revolution" that was going to allow everyone to work from home in their pajamas? What happened? Sure software developers typically clamor to work from home. They complain about the commute to and from work, the distractions in the office, the endless meetings, etc. The righteously tend to complain that their managers are foolishly requiring them to come to work in the office. But why don't their managers normally let software developers work from home? Are managers all fools and software developers all clever? If that 's the case then why are the fools in charge of the clever people? Wouldn't the clever people naturally take charge? And what happens when software developers become managers themselves? Do they usually suddenly allow software developers to work primarily from home? Why in fact do those former software developers who become managers generally abruptly become big advocates for "face time" and stop supporting telecommuting? Stop and think for a while about how the world actually works. Put away your Internet fantasies for just a moment. Think practically. Look around. Literally. Where are you? You are probably at work or at home or at school right now fantasizing about this great Internet job you are going to get that's going to be wonderful for you. But where are you right now? Most likely you are in a very conventional "unfantastic" setting merely dreaming about some wonderful future that quite frankly, you'll probably never have. You'll likely realize precious few, if any, of your highest hopes and dreams. Really. Why not? One reason mainly: FEAR. You dare to dream; but you dare not do. You want to work develop exciting projects with Lisp, from home, and get paid in advance. Now wake up from your fantasy from a moment. Shake yourself. Think clearly and practically. Really. Stop fantasizing. Stop imagining you are some character in a movie or a book. You aren't Batman or James Bond. Really. Are we really being unreasonable in trying to withhold our identity from you? What do we stand to gain by doing so? What do you stand to lose? Here's the process: you apply; you sign an NDA; you sucessfully complete the $30 test project; you get paid $30; you scan your national identification card or passport (but redact the document number); and then you start getting paid *in advance* for work you haven't even done yet. Is it really unreasonable for us to keep our identity secret from you? ~~~ But, but, but... if we know who you are then shouldn't you know who we are? ~~~ Isn't that fair? No. Not at all. As long as we pay you in advance via GetAFreelancer you take essentially no financial risk. the other hand, the longer we work with you the more of our intellectual property you will accumulate. Therefore, although the risk of us harming you financially is essentially zero and will essentially always be zero. But our financial risk, of you harming us by violating the non-disclosure agreement you will have signed, will continually increase as you work with us. If this seems fishy, unsavory, or simply "too weird" for you then please do not respond to this advertisement. We are not trying to be sneaky, underhanded, or cool. Instead we are trying to properly protect ourselves when working with a disparate group group of software developers who reside in many different countries.